Was University Worth It? Thoughts from a Non-Traditional Graduate

With the struggles this generation has had with finding work that matches their degree, many of us are asking ourselves if that university education was worth all the time, effort, and mountains of debt. Well, I’ll break down my own experience and the things I got out of my own undergraduate and graduate university experience and hope that you can take something for yourselves.

First, my disclaimer is that my college experience was not traditional. I went to a junior college, then transferred to a local university while living at home. Then I applied for Clinical Psychology Ph.D programs for two years and failed to get in one. As it turns out, they are extremely competitive. I then went back to the local university and earned my master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. Now, I’m not working in my field for various reasons which I described in a previous post here. I do hope to work in my field one day in the future if things were to change.

Don’t Be Afraid to Start at Community College

My first bit of advice is that there is nothing wrong with a local community college or junior college. Often when we attend community colleges, they are near our homes and our support systems. Staying near your support system can be extremely beneficial if you struggle with any form of disability as well as anxiety and depression. Mental illness is something you should never struggle with alone.

There are so many reasons why this is an excellent option. The schedules and professors are usually more relaxed in this setting, so you can dip your toes into the water without feeling overwhelmed right away. Prerequisite courses are also straight forward to transfer to a university if that is your goal. If university transfer isn’t your end goal, then community college is still an excellent option. Many of these colleges have certificate programs and associates degrees for computer programming, networking, nursing, welding, industrial maintenance, cosmetology, and so many more.

There are several situations in which a community college may not be the best start for you though.

• Financial Aid: Most universities offer scholarships for ACT/SAT scores, sports and other extra-curricular activities, and others that you would not qualify for if you went to a community college before university. Though most community colleges are affordable compared to universities, you have to consider your ultimate goal in this decision.
• Location: If you don’t live near a community college or junior college, that option may not fit your needs.
• Experience: If you’re looking for the “college experience” with campus life, freshman events, sororities and fraternities, sporting events, etc., then you may want to go straight to a university. Some community colleges can offer aspects of this experience, but a university generally offers a wider range of students, courses, activities, and experiences overall.

Disability Support Staff/Special Populations

If you’re dealing with a disability whether it be physical or psychological, I highly recommend that you visit the disability support office at your prospective school. They will set up a file with you outlining the accommodation that you need to succeed. They will communicate with your professors what you need in class. I highly recommend that you personally speak with each of your professors, but respect and kindness are not always a given with each professor, so it is important to have someone who can back you up if you should encounter frustrations along the way. See my previous post about what I tell professors and about my personal accommodations and experiences here.

Some accommodations that you can expect are:

• Note takers
• Extra time for testing in a distraction free area
• Large print notes/copies of presentations/copies of board work
• Interpreters for the deaf
• Space for anyone requiring a wheelchair/other special seating as needed
• Support staff to escort you should you have a need for that
• And so many other various accommodations

Lifelong Friendships

Time at university allows for self-discovery during which you will learn your own dislikes, likes, needs, and goals. You will find people whose goals and likes match or complement your own. Some of these people become more than just someone you study with. They become someone you struggled with, someone you experimented with, someone you succeeded with. These experiences will bond you to one or two very close friends. Some of my closest, deepest friendships are those that were forged during my time at university.

Keep in mind that every friend you make during this period of your life will not become a lifelong friend, but that is part of the learning process as well. This period allows you to discern between the types of people you want in your life and the ones you would rather not include.

Cultural, Spiritual, and Emotional Education

During the university experience, you will hopefully be exposed to people from varying cultures, levels of spirituality and religion, and backgrounds. Meeting people who are different from you should be viewed as a chance to educate yourself and expand as a person. Learning from the experiences of others is how we expand our thought patterns, practice empathy, and make decisions about who we want to become. From these new people, you can learn to discuss differing beliefs and values which will help you identify your own value system.

Expand Your Personal Interests

Throughout your time at university, you will be exposed to new hobbies, interests, and activities. This exposure will allow you to discover what you enjoy doing. Universities and community colleges often offer courses like pottery, photography, visual design, drafting, music, cake decorating, painting, and other various courses on creative arts. If you have time to take any of these courses, you may discover a hobby that you will continue throughout your life, or you may even discover a career path. These days are all about the side hustle, and most of these involve performing services for others such as art design, photography, social media management, and other creative activities.

Creative arts are not the only hobbies and activities you may discover. Sports and games are also hobbies that many pursue in some fashion throughout their adult lives. As you meet new people and see new needs, you may also find inspiration for business ideas or a niche for an invention or service.

Who Are You Going to Be?

University is that time where you are absorbing all that surrounds you, and this education encompasses so much more that what you learn from the classroom and books. You learn how to interact with your peers; you learn that sometimes life isn’t how you expected it would be; and you learn that your choices matter. We don’t magically go to university and return as the person we will be forever, and this is a lesson that I’ve learned during my non-traditional six plus years’ experience.

The most important things I’ve learned are thus:

• Always, always, always give someone the benefit of the doubt, because you never know their struggle or how their morning went.
• Empathy is a skill some are born with, but it can be learned. It is invaluable when working with others.
• Vulnerability and openness are NOT weakness. They require trust in humanity and should not be met with judgment and aggression.
• Don’t be afraid to take a new path, happiness is where you make it and never where you expect it to be.
• Take chances and make mistakes. In your mistakes, you will learn the most powerful lessons of your life.
• Never view change as settling. Life is in constant flux and so are you. Embrace change and make it your own.
• Stop comparing yourself to others, especially based on their social media. You are so much more than what you post online. You are NOT a simple being and neither is anyone else.

There is so much to be learned in this world from class, reading, those around us, mistakes, and chances taken. Don’t stop trying new things and always stay curious.

Danielle Moulds

Do Blind People Have Heightened Senses?

Do blind people have heightened senses? I’ve seen this question asked a lot, and the short answer is yes, and no.

The definition of blind is a complex one. Some people do have absolutely no sight and live in visual darkness, but for most, blindness is something between total darkness and the need to wear glasses to read. The legal definition of blindness constitutes a loss of vision in one eye, a limited field of vision, or severe visual impairment in other ways. In my case, I have the use of both eyes and have a severe visual impairment. With glasses, my vision corrects to 20/400 in the best lighting conditions. Defining legal blindness by acuity begins around 20/200. Because of my poor vision and the other issues that surround my vision (check my previous post here for more details), I feel very qualified to answer the above question. Also, as someone who has been accused of having enhanced senses for most of my life, I can see the importance of answering this question.

There are so many ways to become blind. A person can be born blind, as in my case, or a person can develop a disorder or experience an injury that causes him or her to go blind later in life. I cannot speak as to differences between those situations, but I know that being born blind has left me with only one experience in life, blindness. I don’t know what it’s like to see like most people do, so I don’t feel that profound sense of loss that those who lose their vision later in life may feel. That loss must be intense, and I know that most people imagine going blind is the absolute worst thing that could happen to them. I can’t say I disagree, but I can say that millions live with blindness every day. Most people living with blindness have fulfilling lives just like the rest of the world.

Senses Work Together

So, senses. How many do we have? Five? These days, scientists say it’s closer to six or seven. We have sight, taste, hearing, touch, and smell. These are the ones we learned as a child and the ones every person could name right away, but we also have a sense of space and a sense of our own body in that space as well as a sense of balance. Some scientists are considering the existence of a sense of our muscles contracting and relaxing as well as a sense of how much oxygen is in certain arteries. We certainly aren’t consciously aware of all these senses, but they’re going on within us all at once.

Each sense works with some of the others to fully explore our environments. Take taste and smell for example. You’ve been told to hold your nose and swallow that cough syrup you hate, right? It does, in fact, make a difference in the potency of taste. Have you ever spoken to someone who has lost the sense of smell? Well, I have, and he certainly adds more pepper to his food and has trouble tasting when the milk has gone out of date. These two senses work together, and so do the others. Hearing and sight also work well together to tell your brain what your friend is communicating with his voice and his body. These two have a complex relationship within our daily lives.

A person’s sense of balance and sense of space are both linked to sight, but they are not contingent on that sight. Have you seen a blind person using a white can? That is one of the many ways that we can compensate for the loss or impairment of one sense.

If you play video games, you can test this theory out by playing with the sound turned off. Despite the visual cues and the cues from the vibration of the controller (for you console gamers), discerning where an animal or person is coming from can be a challenge.

The Brain Works with the Information Available

But, really, do the other senses improve when one is lost? No. I think the brain improves instead. Our brains are these vastly complex and almost magical organs made up of neurons and pathways and so much more. When one part of the brain stops working or stops receiving feedback in the case of a lost sense, it compensates. Our brains are so vastly resilient. For example, a person with severe, unrelenting seizures may have a part of his brain removed, and after time that person’s brain is able to reroute most of the functions that took place in that part of the brain. Sounds like something from a sci-fi movie, right?

When e lose a sense, or some of the sense’s input, our brains do the same thing. They can’t make it possible to see again after sight loss, but they do something just as fascinating. The brain takes the other senses available and pulls them into a more cohesive picture of a person’s surroundings. So, the individual senses are not enhanced. Instead, the brain takes those pieces that remain and forms them into a new picture of the environment.

Having said all of that, I hear everything, and having to rely on my hearing so much has taught me to absorb auditory information efficiently. Does that mean that I learn best by lecture or audiobook etc.? Absolutely not. You’d be surprised to learn that I, in fact, am a visual learner. Writing and reading are the ways in which I learn best. I know people who are blind and absolutely adore audio books. I used them often with school because they save me from experiencing eye strain, but they usually put me to sleep. So, though our brains compensate when we lose a sense, they do not compensate in the same ways. Fascinating stuff, right?

In conclusion, our brains are so complex and adaptable. When one sense fails, the others work together to help us function, and most of us function quite well.

Stay curious.

Danielle Moulds

Why Can’t Glasses Fix My Vision? The Albinism Perspective

“You know you need some better glasses.”  “Honey, if you’d wear your glasses, you could see that.”

Why do strangers feel the need to share their personal opinions about my vision? Well, when you find an answer for that one, please feel free to share. These are just two of the comments I’ve gotten delivered in a condescending tone by complete strangers in public, and I’ve heard even worse from others with albinism.

Here, I break down the vision of people with albinism and describe the underlying issues as well as nystagmus, strabismus, and photophobia.

The Optic Nerve and Other Underlying Issues

Albinism affects the brain’s ability to conduct impulses from the retina through the optic nerve to the brain, and basically, information that is sent from the eyes to the brain is flawed. The number of nerve fibers that travel from each eye to each side of the brain is also affected. Albinism also leads to the underdevelopment of a part of the eye called the fovea, which is responsible for fine central vision. This means that true fine binocular vision is impossible for many with albinism. Glasses, contacts, and surgery cannot affect how the fovea or the optic nerve works, so these limitations are more permanent.

Myopia, Hyperopia, and Astigmatism

People with albinism can also have some of the same visual impairments that others deal with including myopia (nearsightedness), hyperopia (farsightedness), and astigmatism (a distortion of the lens). With nearsightedness, the eyes can perceive things that are closer but may struggle with farther objects. This is the case in my vision. For example, I can read my phone while holding it inches from my face, but I cannot see the facial features of a close friend from five feet away. With Farsightedness, the opposite is true; objects in the distance are clear, while reading glasses (glasses with magnification) need to be used for closer objects. Unlike the previously mentioned issues, these can be improved with LASIK surgery, glasses and contacts.

Nystagmus, Strabismus, and Photophobia

The final piece of our vision includes outside factors that vary for each person with albinism. These include nystagmus (an involuntary shaking of the eyes), strabismus (eyes that don’t move together), and photophobia (sensitivity to light).

Nystagmus, or shaking eyes, can diminish visual acuity in that the eyes have less time to focus on objects. For me, I do not feel my eyes physically shaking unless I make an effort to notice them, but because they are constantly moving, I struggle with reading in cars, reading text quickly (such as subtitles), or focusing on seeing several things at once. Nystagmus also causes eye fatigue to become a frequent issue. Also, the physical appearance of nystagmus can be unnerving to some, and some people with nystagmus have been accused of drug use due to this condition.

Strabismus can cause the eyes to look misaligned, and the eyes can angle in any direction. If severe cases of strabismus are not corrected with surgery in childhood, eye development can be affected. As a personal note, my eyes were badly crossed at birth, so I had three different surgeries along with vision therapy to correct this issue. This condition also contributes to my inability to visually focus on several things at one time.

Photophobia is the sensitivity to light, and photophobia occurs in people with albinism because our eyes lack pigment to some degree. Because the amount of pigment among people with albinism varies so greatly, the amount of photophobia also varies from person to person. Sure, photophobia causes issues on sunny days, at the beach, and in the snow, but other situations and settings are often overlooked.

Overcast Days: On these days the sky is a gigantic solid-colored light source. Imagine a giant light box for your normal eyes, and that is how an overcast day appears to some of those with albinism.
What can you do? Sunglasses and hats are some of the best options in this situation. Some also opt for transition lenses.

Fluorescent Lights: These lights are harsh on normal eyes, but they also act as a giant light source. In settings that use florescent lighting, these lights are very overused. Florescent lights are cool and harsh. Warmer-toned lights are gentler on people who suffer from photophobia.
What can you do? Getting a light tint on your regular glasses or wearing amber lenses can help with this problem. The amber color adds a warmth that filters out some of the harsh cooler-toned light. This works the same way as Night Shift, Night Light, and blue light filters function on your smartphone, tablet, and computer. Sunglasses in this shade also help to cut down on glare but do take some getting used to at first.

Cars Without Window Tint: Being in a car can be tough for those with photophobia, especially when the car has no window tint. Sitting inside a car is essentially like sitting in a glass box with a lid. Sun comes in from all sides at times, and this can be blinding and even painful for some. Another issue that can occur in a car without window tint is sunburn. A person with albinism can absolutely get sunburn while sitting inside a car, but that is for another post.
What can you do? I highly recommend getting all the windows in your car tinted if you can afford it. You can also get a light tint put on your windshield, but some areas do have rules about this. It makes a shocking difference. A cheaper alternative is a sunshade for your child’s window or the passenger window where you sit normally, but this option can impair the view of the driver so use this option with caution. Solving this issue is more of a challenge for those who don’t ride in the same car or cars again and again. For that group, sunglasses are a must, and I would also recommend sitting in the center of a back seat if the sun is particularly harsh.

Seating That Faces a Window: Restaurants, homes, coffee shops, stores, and any setting with lots of sunlight can be a challenge. Again, this brightly lit window becomes a giant light box and makes it much harder for a person with photophobia to see anything, such as the face of a friend, a menu, their phone, etc.
What can you do? If you have friends with photophobia, let them have that seat with their back to the window. If you have albinism and/or photophobia, explain this issue to your friends and family and ask for your seat preference. They’ll most likely understand. I feel so rude when I wear sunglasses indoors, so I always opt for the seat with my back to any windows. I still struggle to read menus in challenging lighting situations, so going over what’s on the menu with a friend can help along with taking pictures of the menu with a smartphone.

If you have more questions about these topics, you can contact me here, or check out our resources and references here.

Stay curious.

Danielle Moulds

 

 

Struggling After Graduation: Imposter Syndrome and Blindness

So, I graduated. Now what?

That thought was the single thought running through my head after graduation. The whole experience felt so underwhelming that I was sure I must be missing some important step. Or worse, I was wondering when someone would approach me and say, “Oh, we need your diploma back. Sorry.” These feelings are all part of imposter syndrome, which I have experienced throughout several points in my life, and I am not alone. Imposter syndrome is an actual psychological phenomenon that involves feelings of doubt and the fear that one will be exposed as an imposter or fraud. It feels absolutely insane to be receiving a graduate degree and in the next moment think to yourself, “I don’t deserve this,” or, “I didn’t really earn this like everyone else, did I?”

Who’s to say what parts of my history or my childhood led me to feel that I’m such a failure or an “imposter.” The point is really that so many people are feeling this way right now. What do we do about this to improve our confidence, our feeling of satisfaction, or that feeling that we have successfully accomplished such a huge goal? All our lives we were told to get a degree. “Education is power,” they said, and you need that power to be successful. But here we are with our degrees feeling powerless.

Struggling to Find Your Place

So, what’s the next step? Where do we go from here? Some of us have jobs and new goals. Some of us are doing just fine. Some of us are even happy with our lives. But then, here I am. Like many others before me, I have this degree (or advanced degree in my case), and I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to utilize it. Was I warned about the many steps and struggles to finding a job? Was I warned about the state of the job market in my area? Not really. These are the things we all learned as we neared graduation. Just ask any one of my classmates. I am not alone in this feeling, and neither are you.

 

Blind and Working or Blind and Unemployed

This struggle goes even deeper for those of us who are blind or visually impaired. We struggle to find reliable transportation even in areas that have public transit or paratransit. We struggle to earn the respect of our employers and co-workers. We struggle with our own self-doubt. We struggle to get the reasonable accommodations that are granted to us by the Americans with Disabilities Act in the US. We struggle to even do the job some days. Some of us must work twice as hard as our normally sighted counterparts because of these struggles. Based on statistics from the National Federation of the Blind, the unemployment rate for those who are blind or visually impaired is around 62%, which further demonstrates the limitations of blindness on making a living.

The barriers to work for this population are varied as well, and what one person struggles with, another may manage well. The variances among albinism alone sometimes contribute to those feelings of imposter syndrome and self-doubt. We find ourselves thinking, “Well, Dave can drive and has a full-time job. I must be missing something obvious,” or, “Jane moved to a bigger city and she has so much independence. Why can’t I just move?” I have struggled with these feelings myself. Social media often shows us the successes of others without the ongoing fight, which can lead us to believe that others don’t struggle. Everyone struggles with something. Everyone faces a daily battle with something. The guy with albinism who has enough vision to drive may struggle with a serious lack of confidence or he may have a job that makes him feel miserable and taken for granted. The girl who lives in a bigger city may spend three hours of her time both ways on her commute to work. The important thing to remember here is that though you and your neighbor have different struggles, you both have them.

What Can You Do Today?

So, really, what’s next? We need to find ourselves now, and we need to decide what is best for us and our families as we progress toward our life goals. Start there.

What are your goals? What small goals can you set for yourself to accomplish on a daily and weekly basis? These will be your short-term goals and can include:

• Becoming more positive by finding one thing to be thankful for each day.
• Learning to tidy up more by picking up that one item on your floor or cleaning up and organizing one small shelf each day.
• Becoming more informed by reading one article, watching one video, or listening to one podcast a day.
• Becoming better at your skill or art by practicing once daily for five or ten minutes. You can add time as this becomes more of a habit.

The options are endless. The key here is to choose manageable steps that you can implement each day. Each day that you take one of those small steps, you are building toward your goal. These short-term goals are a fantastic place to start and will allow you to see immediate results. Immediate results are satisfying and will help to motivate you toward bigger and more long-term goals.

One of my favorite expressions from working with addiction is, “one day at a time.” That is how we who are suffering from imposter syndrome, overwhelming fear of failure, and lack of direction shall take our lives. Take my word for it, this one will set you on the right path if you’re feeling overwhelmed. In the meantime, I’ll be here. Feel free to reach out. You can take your life back and feel in control again.

Stay curious.

Danielle Moulds

Being a Songwriter: On Empathy and the Search for Meaning

I’ve been writing songs since I was a teenager venting all my teen angst into the lines of some pretty horrible poetry, but despite some poorly written over-angsty lyrics and poems here and there, writing songs has helped me learn to genuinely express myself. I started out with really lame and cheesy songs about the crush I had or how horrible my parents were or how tough life was in general (like I said, angst), but one day it grew into a more genuine and empathetic expression for me. I spent days writing about the pain and joy of others because I felt that I needed to give them a voice. Who else would, right? At that point I realized that I wasn’t actually that bad at writing songs. I’m no genius lyricist and I’ll probably never have a number one hit, but I can pick out feelings and write a heart-wrenching song about the pain of life. I haven’t been quite so effective with happy, love-filled songs, but everyone has a niche, right?

So, this first realization came when I wrote several songs that I look back on with pride now. One song that I recently used in my personal statement while applying to graduate school involved the perspective of a wife who lost a husband in a car accident. It tells the story of her pleading for him to take more care with his life and her feelings of powerlessness when she was unable to save him. I’d never spoken to this wife; hell, I was 16 at the time. What did I know about loss? Somehow, though, I found some inner empathy for the horror and sorrow that I imagined this woman was feeling, and I wrote a song about it. Sometimes those “aha” moments come when you least expect them to. This song is called “I Could Save a Life” and one of my future goals is to make these available for you guys through some music apps. (Leave a comment or contact me if you have any information on the best way to make this happen.)

Another song I wrote as a teenager was a song for my mother about her struggle to provide for us and her strong faith. I’m not sure I ever had the kind of faith she has, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate the kind of strength it takes to put faith in something that can’t be seen in the tangible sense. This song is called “Momma’s Faith” and can be found on my YouTube page. This song is the kind of song that I feel embarrassed to play, because it’s not based on my empathy for some stranger. Putting myself out there for everyone to see is always a struggle, and that may be the reason that I haven’t worked harder to get my name out there. I’ve not longed for recognition but rather, I look more for understanding and appreciation. The kind of strength it takes to put yourself, your flaws, and your pain out there for everyone to see is underestimated I think.

I’ve written on topics of depression, PTSD, losing a great love, feeling misunderstood, and finding myself along with others.

Why did I choose to pursue a degree in counseling? Because of all that you have read here today and because of my songs. I’ve spent what feels like half my young life trying to understand people and feel what they feel. I had no idea that my life was headed down this path until I had already finished two years of school. I considered business, economics, and a few other majors, but when I settled on Psychology as an undergraduate student, something clicked into place. I can’t wait to see where my life leads me in the future.

Stay curious.

Danielle Moulds

Sharing and Not Sharing: It’s been a long journey.

So, public situations often arise in which I can share personal bits of myself. But often, I opt out of sharing. I often wonder to myself why I choose this so I’ve given it a great deal of thought over the past few years.

Often as others are sharing I’ll listen and feel as though my story is either not as relevant or not as important. I often wouldn’t mind sharing and even found myself sharing a story that was fairly painful to me with a near stranger just tonight. So despite a vivid memory of being called standoffish or unwilling to share and open up, I cannot agree. I often place myself at a level of lower importance when it comes to group settings. I just believe that my sharing is not necessary to the dealings of the group.

Another thought I’ve had on the subject is that possibly I was interrupted or disregarded enough that I just eventually gave up trying to voice my opinion. That particular idea sounds somewhat selfish, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a legitimate idea.

These are all personal opinions. I have no idea what or which the true culprit is, but maybe I’ll share more in the future. Who knows. In my case, I guess that would be the place of a therapist. Either way, sharing is tough sometimes. What do you guys think about sharing and what do you wish you would share? Please feel free to share with me.

Danielle M

The Age-Old Question: What do You See?

This question seems like such a common occurrence. It most always follows the realization that we have a visual impairment. Honestly, it IS a fair question. I want to know the same thing when I meet someone with a visual impairment. I find it fascinating to understand how someone sees or hears or thinks. I view this question positively. If someone is curious and genuinely wants to understand, why not take the opportunity to teach? So guys, please, take pride in explaining this one, and don’t be offended or upset.

I believe we need a quick (and short) lesson on the eye and how it works to begin our discussion. The parts of the eye that we can see are called the Cornea (the clear outer layer), Iris (the colored part of the eye, Pupil (the center of the Iris), and Sclera (the white part). Behind these, we have the Lens, and behind that is the Vitreous Fluid that fills our eye and gives it stability. In the back of our eye lies the Retina. Light enters the cornea and pupil, hits the lens, is directed through the vitreous fluid and onto the Retina at the back of the eye. From the Retina, light is converted into electric signals through the Optic Nerve behind our eyes and sent to our brain. Our brain then creates the beautiful pictures that we see before us. Our eyes are well-oiled machines (metaphorically speaking, of course). The only problem with this is that if one part of this smoothly running machine is working in-correctly, we have a problem.

Numerous eye conditions can result from both Ocular Albinism and Oculocutaneous Albinism.

In both types of Albinism, lack of pigment is one of the most portrayed problems with the eyes (“Red Eyes”). Pigment in the Cornea of a normal eye protects the eye from stray light, so the lack of pigment in the eye of someone with Albinism allows the stray light to penetrate the eye, causing Photophobia. Photophobia is a painful over-sensitivity to light. Even the slightest amount of direct light or glare can impair our vision.
(see “Demons with Red Eyes and Mystical Powers?” No sir, No Ma’am for more specific information on Photophobia).

A few more quite noticeable issues with our eyes include Nystagmus and Strabismus. I know you guys just love scientific names!
Nystagmus is simply unwanted rapid eye movement, either side to side or up and down. This, understandably, looks quite unnerving to most people. After all, eye contact is very important to the normally sighted world. For people who have Nystagmus, this has more than just an odd aesthetic effect. This rapid movement can make concentrating on one object or text tough and cause eye stress and over time, eye soreness and pain. It can be quite a hassle for today’s students and anyone working in situations involving reading for long periods of time. Simply taking breaks every half hour or so can be both a necessity and a sight-saver.
Strabismus is a muscle imbalance of the eye that encompasses a few specific conditions: Crossed eyes (esotropia), eyes that point outward (exotropia), and eyes that point upward (hypertropia). These can also look odd to onlookers, but they can have quite a few adverse effects to the person presenting with these conditions. Strabismus can cause double vision, poor depth perception, poor eye contact, “shifty eyes,” unusual head movements (compensating), and a few other issues. Thankfully, many of the problems with Strabismus can be lessened or corrected with surgery. I personally had three of these surgeries at a young age.

In many cases, Strabismus can lead to something called “lazy eye” or Amblyopia. In simple terms, this occurs when one eye is sending the brain unclear images. The brain then decides that that eye is not working correctly, so it “turns that eye off.” Amblyopia usually leads to permanent visual impairment. After Amblyopia occurs, the brain will continue to receive unclear images from the affected eye (or eyes in rare cases). This too can be treated if caught early enough, but it cannot be fully corrected. I was also treated for this with an eye patch on my better eye. Patches (or drops) are used on the better eye to encourage the use of the worse eye and to train the brain to correct the vision in that eye.

And to wrap this listing up (for our purposes today at least), people with Albinism are also affected by the same refractive errors or focus problems that many people without Albinism are affected by. These of course include nearsightedness (myopia), farsightedness (hyperopia), and/or astigmatism. Most of us are very familiar with the various refractive errors and how they affect a person and how they are corrected (glasses, contacts, LASIK, etc). I am nearsighted and I have a slight astigmatism.

Now that you understand a little more about the majority of the eye conditions involved with Albinism, you may begin to understand what it is like to see through our eyes. NOAH has a very nice metaphor involving photos, but I would like to share another metaphor of my own. Imagine you’re sitting at the top of a large stadium. Then, imagine everyone around you has binoculars, and you do not. Everything to you will look undefined, a little out of focus, and you may have trouble making out the fine details of what you’re looking at. What I see is not “blurry” per se; it lacks detail. It is as if I cannot focus on distant objects the way that normally sighted individuals’ eyes can. My Zoom feature is turned off or broken.

Perhaps this will give you some idea, but if you’re still feeling quite out of the loop, please check out this description posted by NOAH here.

What CAN’T I See

Are you still wondering what I can see? What if I tell you what I CAN’T see? If you’re standing more than a meter away from me, I would not be able to figure out who you are based on your face alone. If a sign is above my head, I cannot read it. If font is smaller than 12 point on a paper, I have to have excellent lighting and squint to see it even after my face is centimeters from the page. I have trouble distinguishing between darker colors like navy blue, black, brown, charcoal, gray, etc. At the moment I use my mother’s 23 inch monitor with ZoomText enlarging my screen 4 times. I can sit a normal distance from the screen with my glasses on and read most 12 point text. The downside to using this feature in public is that everyone within a twenty foot radius can also read my screen. (Luckily they do have privacy filters for computer monitors for just that reason.)

I know that we all do not have the same vision, but I hope that my insight can help you to better understand what we individuals with Albinism, as a whole, see. I also hope you have learned a few new things in reading this article. Let me know if you have any questions or comments or if I have incorrectly stated something. As always, thank you for reading.

If you’re interested in learning more about any of these conditions or you would like to know where I found my information, please check our Helpful Sites page. New links will be added as we discover them.

Stay Curious

Danielle Moulds

Blind or Not-Quite-So-Blind

Reading the menu in a local steakhouse as my friends and I chat

Blind, low vision, visually impaired? What does it all mean?

What a cheesy title, right? I know, but where are the lines of Blindness drawn? We know that legal blindness, in the USA at least, is a visual acuity of 20/200 or worse correct? Well Blindness is defined as partial or complete loss of sight or the inability to see with one or both eyes.

Partial or complete loss of sight? Inability to see?

Well, that’s undefined, but this indefinite definition is a good thing for those of us with Albinism. We all have some form of “partial loss of sight” do we not? This unclear definition of blindness puts us in a large and varied group of people. It places us within a certain community; one in which we can confide and receive guidance, assistance, and understanding. As a community, we need to stand together! This is our place: to encourage, to lead, to inform, and to be a beacon to the world. We have to let the world know that we deserve every opportunity, and we will fight just as hard and harder to turn that opportunity into a life filled with success.

This is my “call to arms” to all of you; don’t be afraid of who you are; be your own advocate; accomplish everything that you want to accomplish; and when you have done so, dream even bigger. These are our lives.

This site is here for this exact purpose: to bring us together. Feel free to share, network, ask questions, etc.

As a side note, a future article will explain our eyesight, how it works, and why it doesn’t work as it should. So stay tuned and stay curious!

Danielle Moulds